Feb 7, 2017

Scripture of the day:

Song of Solomon 2:3

• Old Testament

As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

I chose this scripture because I got a taste the last couple of days.  In my remiss of posting I noticed it became easier to not post than to post.  I thought "ahh it would just be better if I don't bother.  I have gone too long."

These thought connected with something I read recently.  I don't remember where I read it but it was an article or something talking to those who have sinned asking them to come back to the fold.  The taste I received was on how it is easier to not come back and all the fear, discomfort and embarrassment that comes along with the wanting to come back but yet the negative is there also.

Now my posting is nothing grievous other than a broken promise that I am not sure anyone but myself is holding me accountable for but it gave me a taste.


The reason I decided to ignore the negative feelings and post anyway was more to do with the remembering of why I am a believer in Jesus.  I have tasted of his fruit or water or words but mostly I have partaken in the blessings that have come to me.  I try to count them a lot.  I can't say daily because I do try to thank Him for them as soon as I see them.  Some days that is many times a day.  I thank him when a little problem that I had works out because I know the happening was out of my control.  I try to remember that even if something seems like it is a bad thing - it might be good. 

For instance, this past Sunday was Fast Sunday, a day we pick each month to fast for whatever we feel is important.  It could be a day of thanksgiving or a day of need request.  But when I went to the kitchen to make breakfast I was so foggy headed I could not think straight.  I tried and tried to plan breakfast and then I remembered it was fast Sunday and I was supposed to make breakfast.  When my kids were little we called it cold cereal Sunday.  I didn't make my kids fast.  It was something they did on their own but I also didn't make it uncomfortable.  They were welcome to have breakfast if they were not fasting by making cereal for themselves.  So the foggy headiness seemed like a bad thing but it was really a stupor of thought, big time, and once I remembered my head cleared a bit and I was able to prepare the lunch for later.   

Many times I don't know why things happen and I just pray that Heavenly Father knows the reason and it is part of his plan.  Another thing happened on Sunday and I am not sure if this is what happened or I am imagining it.  But Michael was being extra paranoid in the library on Sunday and it was making me quite contentious.  We were bordering on arguing, not a good thing during church.  We went to the sacrament meeting and during the meeting my stomach began hurting a lot.  Michael assumed it was anxiety because he was having trouble with anxiety as well.  (This is most likely why he was so paranoid.)  But for me it got to the point that I was about to cry from the pain, not something I do easily.  It took a lot of control to keep from bursting into tears most of the meeting.  I got the impression that I needed to leave and go home as soon as the meeting was over.  Another one of those times when it seems like something bad.  There was another thought I had and it was not kind or nice.  However I did let the spirit guide me and as soon as the meeting was over I just made a nice request  instead of a mean demand of Michael and told him I had to go home.  I could not stay.  Considering the contention we had earlier it was probably best we were not working in the library together on Sunday.  I got a snack and a nap when I got home and when Michael came home he was in better spirits as well. 

The dinner I prepared earlier in the crock pot was not quite ready so the back up was to make a cream of broccoli soup.  Michael and I were able to work together to make the soup.  By the way, Michael doesn't eat dairy products so a creamy soup takes a little of work.  We use cashews ground up to make a thick milk and it did a really good job of thickening up the soup. 

All these things were sweet reminders that I am blessed.  It really helps to not think of the negative things that MIGHT happen and to continue forward to the sweet things that will happen.  The sweet things do happen regardless if we notice or not but life is so much more full when we do see them.