Jan. 31, 2017
Scripture of the day:

Romans 15:5-7

• New Testament

 5 Now the God of patience and consolation grant you to be likeminded one toward another according to Christ Jesus:

 6 That ye may with one mind and one mouth glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

 7 Wherefore receive ye one another, as Christ also received us to the glory of God.

Patience

• The Guide to the Scriptures

Calm endurance; the ability to endure affliction, insult, or injury without complaint or retaliation.

Most of the time we are told to have patience and yes, that is a noble virture that the world could sure use more of but I chose this scripture because it shows where patience can come from.  The Lord has patience and I am so very grateful he does.  He is patient with me as I bear my trials and afflication and I might add I don't necessarily have a calm endurance or it is not without complaint.  But I do keep trying.  I am so grateful that the Lord keeps patience with us.

Jan. 30, 2017

Scripture of the day:

Numbers 5:8

• Old Testament

But if the man have no kinsman to recompense the trespass unto, let the trespass be recompensed unto the Lord, even to the priest; beside the ram of the atonement, whereby an atonement shall be made for him. 

I must say I have been blessed to find scriptures that match perfectly to what I want to say the last couple of days.  Yesterday I was looking for a scripture on repentance and thought I would need to find a second one for forgiveness but I found one with both and tonight I found exactly what I was looking for on the atonement.

Last night I spoke of forgiving those who trespass against us.  But sometimes we are not able to forgive because we are in too much pain from the trespass.  I have two things to say about that.

First is a story of my husband.  He has had someone in his life who caused him great emotional distress.  He has been working on healing from this distress.  At one point he was extremely distraught because he knew the Lord expected him to forgive this person.  He really felt he could not bring himself to forgiveness.  In one of my rare moments of insight I was able to relay to him that while the Lord did expect him to forgive he didn't have to do it today.  That was enough to ease his despair.

My relationship with my husband is one where I am to support him especially as he heals from this trauma.  Just support,  I cannot teach him or share much insight.  The moment above was rare.  It must have been one that the Lord really needed to get through to him but he wasn't listening.  As I have watched my husband deal with the pain and trauma from nightmares to unresolved anger to utter despair it has been hard for me because I know that there is some relief from the pain.

I had an incident a number of years ago where someone close to me hurt me beyond the point I thought was possible.  I wound up on my knees from the sheer weight of the pain.  All I could utter in prayer was "Heavenly Father, this hurts".  I had no expectations, mainly because I had no knowledge.  For me that day was a day I learned about the atonement.  My pain was whisked away from me.  I sat on my knees in utter silence for a time because I was so shocked the pain just disappeared.  When I could speak all I could say was Thank you. 

Sometimes as we watch others it feels like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz.  The power for healing is always there but we don't always know it.  Like Dorothy and her red slippers her way home was always there but she had to have some experiences before she was ready and I think that sometimes the atonement is like that.  We are here on earth to learn and many times life's lessons are painful.  But ultimately it is our relationship with our Father in Heaven, our relationship.  No one else can speak to the Lord for us.  We must ask.  Others can pray for us but to receive the atonement we must ask for ourselves.  The Lord is there to give us strength when we no longer can go on. He is there to give us courage to stand up for ourselves when we must act.  He gives us relief, peace and comfort from our trials.  He can't take away the trial because we must learn but he is willing to walk through with us.  

So if the reason you are having trouble forgiving is pain or lack of strength or courage the Lord is ready, willing and most certainly able if all we do is but ask.   I know this is true because I have seen it, felt it and lived it. 

Scripture of the week:

JST, Mark 3:22

• Joseph Smith Translation

But he answered them and said, Verily I say unto you, All sins which men have committed, when they repent, shall be forgiven them; for I came to preach repentance unto the sons of men. 


Mark 3:28-30King James Version (KJV)

28 Verily I say unto you, All sins shall be forgiven unto the sons of men, and blasphemies wherewith soever they shall blaspheme:
29 But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation:

The point of these verses in repentance and forgiveness.  I have been thinking about these two things recently.  Tonight I am repenting of making a promise of a scripture a day and I have been remiss for several days.  So I am repenting of breaking my promise.  Please forgive me.

For the last week I have been thinking of how this applies to my personal life.  And as I sat down I thought "there is a lesson here and I think I might be missing it." 

In my youth I was sexually abused.  Years later the person who did it came to me and asked my forgiveness.  I was pregnant with my first child.  He shared why he did it.  It took a little time but I did forgive.  Years later after that I had a very vivid dream that he came to me and again asked my forgiveness.  I thought how unusual.  In my dream he came to me at a place I was working.  He was more than a thousand miles from his home so I was surprised to see him.  I asked him why he was there and he said he wanted my forgiveness.  I replied that I had done it years ago.  Part of the dream for me was the realization that I had forgiven him. 

He had repented of his actions and I had forgiven him.  Two of the things God asks of each of us.  But I think about  it a bit more.  I have forgiven him but that does not mean I have to trust him to my most precious possessions.  Does that mean I have not forgiven him?  I don't think so.  If my children were little I would not trust him to babysit my children. 

Several years ago I was asked to give a lesson in Relief Society on this topic.  I was told by the Lord the week prior that I needed to be prepared to share my experiences with the sisters.  I was terrified.  To top it off the bishop attended the lesson.  Bishops don't normally attend Relief Society classes.  The reason I didn't want to share was I was afraid that once these women had this knowledge of me their view of me would change. 

Last year I shared this story of my experiences with my daughter, Carolin.  She did comment that it did change the way she saw me. 

For Carolin it was probably something more along the lines of seeing her mom more as a person than just her mom.  But for the sisters in the ward they were kind and caring and didn't seem to act differently towards me for which I am very grateful. 

Coming to terms with the abuse, the abuser and how it affects others that are close to me has always been in my thoughts.  For me to not forgive means I am free of the cancer that unforgiving causes.  I always say that unforgiving is a cancer on the soul and needs to be irradiated quickly.  As shown in my dream the fact that I forgave was of no consequence to the person that I forgave.  He didn't know and in his case he cared.  But for many in our lives whether we forgive or not affects us more than the person we are forgiving.  The person we are forgiving rarely has knowledge and it does not affect them.  So do yourself a favor and practice forgiveness.



 

Jan. 23. 2017 Scripture of the day:

2 Peter 2: 7 -10

• New Testament

7And delivered just Lot , vexed with the filthy conversation of the wicked: 
8(For that righteous man dwelling among them, in seeing and hearing, vexed his righteous soul from day to day with their unlawful deeds;) 
9The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations , and to reserve the unjust unto the day of judgment to be punished: 
10But chiefly them that walk after the flesh in the lust of uncleanness , and despise government . Presumptuous are they, selfwilled, they are not afraid to speak evil of dignities.

I  wish I had great eloquence to write but I lack that.  I am however vexed as Lot was.  I know I am not a righteous man, or woman for that matter.  I have my sins.  

That being said I will share my feelings tonight of the many posts I have seen of the women's march. I have learned through the years that we won't see the good women and men who marched for legitimate reasons but they are being far overshadowed by many.  It seems that in their quest for women's rights those rights would also mean that they wish the right to be as vulgar as men have been and this is by the same women who say they are marching because of the vulgarity of Trump's actions many years ago. 

Quite frankly I would rather march for respect for women than show a reason to be disrespected.  I know what it is like to be prejudiced against.  I have a bachelor's degree in history because the professors of my college felt that as a woman I didn't deserve the right to hold a mathematics degree.  I applaud the women around me who did do what it took to earn such a degree but I had to put family first.  I went on to get a master's degree in mathematics education instead. 

I was indignant when my mother shared she had been told that they would not give her any more money as that was reserved for the men who needed to feed their families.  My mom was single head of household and she was earning the money to feed, clothe and provide for her small family. 

Instead of marching I taught my daughters to be independent and to make their own decisions.  My daughters have relished as they have accomplished things like drywalling a garage or demolished a closet to make room for a washer, or to go build cabins for the less fortunate. But my daughters also know that it will be their job to be the nurturer of their children that they bare.  They know that is a woman's role and it is NOT a diminished role.  Women are the ones who teach, prepare and support the next generation.  Yes, men can do it as well and many do.  My daughters also know that isn't their only role.  We know that we are to be equal partners in each of our roles.  As women we are not to be ahead of men nor are we to be behind. 

As women we cannot get a greater respect by degrading men or others but mostly we will never get a greater respect if we degrade ourselves. 

I learned early on that how we present ourselves is a large part of how others see us.  In high school I had the projection of being someone who did not drink or party.  I didn't realize how many parties I was never invited to because of this image until I went to our class reunion and the people at my table shared stories.  In fact in high school a young man saw me coming out of a bar and shared that with others and no one believed him.  He was not known to be a liar but my image was well established. He was rather afraid when I confronted him about it.  I simply asked him where he saw me.  He had.  My parents were alcoholics and liked to frequent bars.  I was required to go with them.  It was not uncommon for me to do my homework in such a place.  One night when I had finished my homework and went to the car to replace my books with a book I was reading I was seen by this young man.  I didn't drink for several reasons and none of them were because I was a prude.  I had seen what alcohol did to my parents and I never wanted to give that much control to a substance.  Second I really didn't like the taste of the stuff.  It was also my rebellion to be good.  My mom expected me to be otherwise. 

Even today my image is established because my husband who is fully aware of the life I led as a youth forgets and lumps me with the group of members of my church who came from generations of solid church members.

For me while my mother drank I still respected her and the strength she did show.  She too had her sins, you could say. But she also had her virtues.  She always arrived at work on time and worked a full day plus some.  She took responsibility seriously and that perhaps is why I was always with her when they went out.  She was afraid to leave me home.  Above all my mother did not lie.  She felt dishonesty was the greatest of sins.  If I did do something out of line but told the truth I got into far less trouble than if she caught me in a lie. 

She would not have marched either.  She chose to fight her battle on her own battlefront and make her own world a better place.  Many might think this was a selfish act or a waste because it was not grander but it made an impression on me and I, in turn, shared this with my own daughters.  I also hope that my son learned how to treat women with respect and to respect their opinions.  I think it is perhaps the greatest good and legacy to start with our own families. 

I apologize for my preaching tonight but I could not stand the vexation I have felt due the displays from the march on Sunday. 

May you all have good night.

Scriptures of the days:
Jan. 20, 2017:

Jacob 2: 17-19

• Book of Mormon

17Think of your brethren like unto yourselves, and be familiar with all and free with your substance , that they may be rich like unto you. 
18But before ye seek for riches , seek ye for the kingdom of God. 
19And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good— to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted. 

Jan. 21, 2017:

Psalms 8: 3-9

• Old Testament

3When I consider thy heavens , the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained; 
4What is man , that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him? 
5For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels , and hast crowned him with glory and honour. 
6Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands; thou hast put all things under his feet: 
7All sheep and oxen, yea, and the beasts of the field; 
8The fowl of the air, and the fish of the sea, and whatsoever passeth through the paths of the seas. 
9O Lord our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth! 

Jan. 22, 2017: 

Romans 8: 16-17

• New Testament

16The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit , that we are the children of God: 
17And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. 

Music moves me.  Each of these scriptures goes with a particular song and each song means something to me.  The scripture in Jacob goes with a hymn entitled: Because I have been given much.
My husband and I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints at the same time.  Then my husband declared he wanted out so for a time he left then because of a series of events he decided to come back.  We sang this song in sacrament meeting the day he came back. I felt I had been given much that day.  But this song also means a lot to me because when I have a feeling being forgotten or doing without I remember the second verse:  "Because I have been sheltered, fed by thy good care, I cannot see another lack and I not share..." Crowell (1964)  I have been given much and in our world that is so much more than other places.  

The Psalms song is for "How Great Thou Art"  On Sunday mornings my mom would turn on the radio and listen to gospel music.  This song would come up often.  It is also in the LDS Hymn book.  Whenever I hear it I feel my mom's presence.  

The Romans song is for an LDS hymn called "O My Father."  This song has had meaning for different reasons over the years but today we sang it and I could not contain my tears as I felt the spirit.  I actually don't sing in choir anymore because at any time the spirit hits I am dissolved into tears.  Today was a special Sunday where we had a Stake conference.  It is where all the members in a certain geographical boundary meet together.  It could be up to a 1000 people.  We don't have a building big enough for that so we split between two buildings and the sound is played in one building while the speakers talk in the other.  We prepared for this conference by reading one of the speakers previous talks.  Our theme was about Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and knowing the nature of God.  The presenter was Christoffel Golden.  The pieces of verses from the song that touched me today were; "Yet ofttimes a secret something whispered, "You're a stranger here, and I felt I had wandered from a more exalted sphere."  Elder Golden mentioned in the previous talk that when we die and meet with Heavenly Father we will be pleasantly surprised that He will seem so familiar to us.  I feel this is true.  I have leaned on my Heavenly Father many times and in my most desperate times I find comfort in feeling as if I am sitting at his feet and with my head in his lap he gently strokes my hair and tells me all will be well.  I have felt for many years the line from the song, "Then, at length, when I've completed all you sent me forth to do, with your mutual approbation let me come and dwell with you."  I look forward to that day.  Many times I do feel a stranger here and cannot wait to leave this earth with all of man's creation to the more orderly world of the Lord's presence. 
Whenever I am being stubborn the Lord knows I will listen to music.  The music will break down my defenses and I will listen.  Rarely am I so stubborn I don't attend church.  The Lord knows if he gets me through those doors I am a captured audience and I will eventually break down. 
Music is a beautiful language and I am grateful for it.

Jan. 19, 2017

Scripture of the day:

Ezekiel 24:17

• Old Testament

"Forbear to cry, make no mourning for the dead, bind the tire of thine head upon thee, and put on thy shoes upon thy feet, and cover not thy lips, and eat not the bread of men."

I learned something new today.  I am very tired so I looked that up in the scriptures and came across this one.  You can imagine the first imagine I conjured up was someone with a car tire on their head.  Did I mention I am tired which makes me have strange thoughts.  But I decided to look it up.  Tire is also an Old English word for headdress. 

The picture I found was this:

Whenever we see pictures of women in the middle east they are usually wearing headdresses such as these - even today.  So when they are instructed to bind up the tire of thine head you can imagine them securing their cloth headdress about their head.

So there is my new meaning of a word I thought I already knew.

Jan. 18, 2017
Scripture: 

Ephesians 5:32

• New Testament

This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 

I posted this one because I have been confronted by several mysteries today.  The first one is what happened to my computer while Michael was doing his search today.  I came home and the keyboard wasn't working.  Michael told of the computer getting a blue screen and then it said it was downloading data.  He shut it off to stop it but the keyboard no longer worked.  I purchased a new one at Walmart.  It is a cheap one and I am still trying to get used to some of the keys being in different places.
The second mystery is why some of my email address to my personal account gets in my work account.
The third mystery is why the above email goes to my personal account but not to my inbox but some folder marked promontional  I didn't even know I had a promotional folder.

So to follow the scripture I will put those mysteries aside and speak of Christ and his church.  I will say that no matter the mystery the Lord will help us to solve it if we really need it solved.

I think I will sleep on it and maybe I will get it in a dream or it will reveal itself tomorrow.  Until then good night and God bless.

Jan. 17, 2017

Scripture of the day:

 1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

 2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

 3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,

 4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;...

2 Timothy 3:1-4

• New Testament

Selfishness has been on my mind today.  It was difficult to find a scripture on selfishness so I resorted to self and came across the ones above.  I felt it took all four verses to get the point.  The scriptures don't speak too kindly of these actions of being lovers of self because every scripture I saw was as harsh as the one above.

Maybe I over think things too much or am unnecessarily harsh on myself but I think about my actions a lot and I check for selfishness. There is a line between preservation and being selfish and I think I struggle with that line. 

In my thoughts this morning I remembered the phrase: "to cut off the nose to spite the face."  I have always thought that a silly phrase and never really understood it until I thought about many people in our country who would love to see our president - elect fail and thus the country fail just to prove themselves correct rather than work to make changes.  That seems very selfish to me. 

I think selfishness manifests itself in many different ways.  Anytime a person wants to put themselves above another person for their own glory or gain is being selfish.  In the movie, Hidden Figures, the supervisor over the whole program made comment that for some reason they were not getting ahead of the Russians.  He said he didn't think it was because we, Americans, were dumber or less committed but something was preventing it.  As I sat there watching the movie my thought was "Racism, that is what is preventing the getting ahead."  There were people who felt that it was beneath them to have a black person and a woman to boot be better at the skills they displayed.  When the supervisor did his best to take away that stigma but making all the bathrooms available to all colors it was a step that helped the group surge forward.  I know that for many the stigma was still there but it was no longer considered acceptable.  So they had to keep their selfishness in check after that. 

I have learned that over time we can make it go away in ourselves.  I had an incident happen today to me that caused me to have to put aside some negative feelings I had.  As I was studying my thoughts and feelings I realized I was being selfish to something I really had no right to.  Once I realized that and I put aside my hurt or hard feelings and I felt better.  I was able to be more relaxed. 

If there is someone in my life that I have to work with or live near and I have a hard time being around them I try to put myself with that person because I have learned that the more I am around someone the more I learn about them and the more I become tolerant even learn to love that person.  Sometimes I have prayed to see that person as the Lord sees them to help me.  My life is so much better and I am so much more charitable when do these things. 

I try to remind myself about Mary and Martha.  Martha got a gentle rebuke from the Lord to allow Mary to have "that good part".  So Mary got to hear the Saviour's words but Martha got to serve the Lord.  Both would receive blessings.  And if you read on the scriptures say that the Lord loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.  I try to remind myself that today my part is to do this one thing and tomorrow it might be something different.  Usually that brings me out of my revelry of self and I am thus better able to serve. Trying my best to be selfless instead of selfish is one of the goals I have in my life.

Jan. 16, 2017

Scripture: 

Job 22:12

• Old Testament

Is not God in the height of heaven? and behold the height of the stars, how high they are! 

We went to see the movie, Hidden Figures tonight.  It was a very good movie.  Several times they mentioned touching the stars.  It was part of the calculations to see how high they would go.

It also had a lot of math in the movie.  Many times I have students ask, "when will I ever use this?"  My answer is "I don't know."  You see even in their lifetime things have been invented like the iPad.  When I was the same age as them I didn't have a clue what an iPad was in fact we barely used computers and even then each user had to program the computer themselves.  Now there are engineers of the technology using math and science in ways you never dreamed of.  One part of the movie they needed to be able to do calculations for something that had never been done before.  They kept thinking they needed new math to do it then they realized they needed old numbers not new math.  The movie character had to go find a book that had the old math.  It was in a book that they thought they would not have to use and yet here it was useful again. 

Several characters studied FORTRAN programming language.  I remember that language and had dabbled in it a little.  But that is so "old school" now.  In fact my mom worked on the same type of computer used in the movie.  She was a pioneer of sorts for the army using that computer.  It took cards to make it work.  I remember she figured out how to make a Christmas wreath using those cards.  They would throw them away when they were done and she recycled them. 

I think we still must behold the height of the stars and continue to reach them.  Because we never know what the future might bring.

Jan. 15, 2017: "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33 (New Testament)

Jan. 14, 2017: "Behold, I say unto you that you shall let your time be devoted to the studying of the scriptures" D&C 26:1 (Doctrine and Covenants)
 Jan. 13, 2017:  “It beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me” (Alma 32:28; emphasis added).(Book of Mormon)

Jan. 12, 2017: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).  (Old Testament)


I have been remiss so here are the scriptures for the days from the last time I posted, Jan. 11, 2017
It is important that we are continually learning and growing.  For part of that learning is scripture study.

We are to first seek the kingdom of God what is the best way to know about that kingdom but read the scriptures.  Joseph Smith had a method of doing things that I think works well.  First of all he was not a learned man but if you read what he personally wrote (not translated) you will notice that the writing he wrote when he started was not as well done as his later writings.  Joseph was schooled by the ultimate teacher, the Lord.  We can't help be become better by reading, studying and thus learning.  Joseph's method was to read through the scriptures and if he came upon something he didn't understand he would then pray about it. 

Even though I did not write about a scripture a day this week I did always read some scripture before going to sleep.  I have the scriptures on my phone, my ipad, and a hard copy version.  I use the online version to be able to copy and paste to my blog. 

Many years ago I had a calling (that is what we call it when we are given a specific job in the church.  A job without monetary benefits but many spiritual ones.)  My calling was to be a proof reader for church curriculum department.  I would go to Salt Lake after our General Conference and proof read the conference talks for the next month's Ensign.  In between that assignment I would do various jobs from proofing books for General Authorities to helping write instructions for computer programs of the church.  The particular assignment I am thinking about now is one where I proof read the online scriptures.  I had to take my hard copy of the scriptures and compare it to the version that is online.  So using the online scriptures brings back fond memories.  As an interesting sidenote all things that need to be proofread are read by at least 4 people but sometimes more.  So I was part of a much bigger team.  It is very rare but sometimes errors do get through.

Anyway scripture study is an interesting endeavor because I have noticed that 2 people can read the same scripture and each of them could have a different interpretation on how it applies to their lives.  For me I have been studying the scriptures for almost 30 years and I have noticed that the same scripture can have different meanings at different times in my life.  I find it absolutely amazing that something as old as the scriptures are and it has that affect on people.  I mentioned earlier this week how Job helped me to even have a belief in God.  I have a different interpretation now and they didn't have the same effect that it did so many years ago.

Here is an interesting thing about me:  I did not have a total belief there was a God until I was in college and took the Bible as Literature class.  This might surprise many of those I went to school with.  The reason I was the way I was in school (miss goody goody twoshoes type) had to do more with rebellion than God.  You see my homelife was the exact opposite.  My mother lived with my step fathers without marriage, was an alcohlic and had many strange people coming round.  If you notice I didn't invite many over to my home past my 4th grade (and I was nervous about that one too).  I had been in just about every bar from Thurmont including Pennsylvania by the time I was 14 but I chose not to drink. 

Don't get me wrong my mom worked hard and she never lost or jeopardized her job by drinking but when she wasn't working that was a different story.  My mom expected me to run around, go to parties and be promiscous so I rebelled by doing the opposite.  I don't recommend that as a parenting strategy but apparently my older siblings tried her patience too much and by the time she had me she was tired and without answers.  So she would say,"You are going to do what you want anyway."  She did have some good parenting strategies that worked - like her rules about smoking.  Usually when you have 4 children and you smoke 3 out of the 4 will smoke. My mom's rule was smoke if you want but you buy your own.  The result only 1 out of four smoked. 

Going back to scripture study, there have been many times in my parenting that I have been without a clue what to do with that child.  I would think about how we are children to our Heavenly Father and I would search the scriptures for a time when his children were doing something similar like being rebellious or asking for something they good and well knew was not good for them but they wanted it anyway.  Sometimes I would do what Heavenly Father did and sometimes I would just share the story with my kids and the consequences the person in the scriptures had and then ask the kid if they still wanted to do whatever it was. 

The scriptures have brought me knowledge, peace and understanding and it is only because I have been willing to study them.

Jan. 11, 2017
Scripture:

Isaiah 7:13

• Old Testament

And he said, Hear ye now, O house of David; Is it a small thing for you to weary men, but will ye weary my God also? 

I thought of this scripture because I am weary also.  I woke up this morning thinking it was Thursday.  On Friday I get to rest from the work week and concentrate on my household.  Because it is all on my timing I enjoy it and feel refreshed.  Then I realized it was Wednesday.  I was much disappointed.  When I think of being wearied by men it is the constant sales calls and scams that I get on a daily basis despite being on a do not call list. 

But to weary God, I think of our constant disobedience or constant queries or requests without showing gratitude.  As a parent I know there were times when my children would weary me with the same things.  We are not to make our prayers trite or repetitive but I am quick to thank for my blessings.  I really am grateful for all I have.  I also know that there are things I have been given or times I have been helped I am not aware of.  I like to give thanks for those as well.

I had a similar incident yesterday.  After work I kind of threw my backpack into the back seat.  I got into the car and began to drive away.   I was eager to get home as it had been a long day.   I wanted to enjoy the fact that the roads were actually dry.  But as I got to the end of the lane from my work I discovered my phone was not in the front with me.  I pulled up my backpack and it was not in the side pocket I put it in.  I was thinking "Oh rats, I can't find my phone. Did I leave it at the school?"  I could not turn a ubie so I went to the next intersection after a long light (It seemed to last an eternity - all of 2-4 minutes.) I got to the parking lot of Culver's and got out to look in my car.  I didn't see the phone anywhere so I drove back to work.  I went inside and looked at the table where I had been sitting.  Not there - I went back to the car again.  This time I saw the phone peeking out from under something on the back seat.  It must have shot out when I threw in the backpack.  As I started for home it started to rain.  With the cold weather here the roads are fast to freeze.  So I started panicking a little because all these drivers were not slowing down and were following each other too closely.  So I drove home tense.  I was annoyed that if I had not "lost" my phone I could have been 2/3 the way home before the rain started.  As I thought about it this morning a thought came to me.  What if I had not lost my phone would have put me in the right place for an accident and the annoyance was really a blessing.  It is one of those things I will never truly know.  They say when we die we see a movie of sorts of our life but it is from the perspective of how our actions affect others.  I hope that is true because I would really like to see out all our lives intertwine. 

Jan. 10, 2017

Scripture: 

Alma 30: 44

• Book of Mormon

44But Alma said unto him: Thou hast had signs enough; will ye tempt your God? Will ye say, Show unto me a sign, when ye have the testimony of  all these thy brethren, and also all the holy prophets? The scriptures are laid before thee, yea, and all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator.

I can't look at a sunset, up at the stars, or watch the miracle of a baby live and breath and not think how wonderful the Supreme Creator is. 

Jan. 8, 2017
Scripture: Colossians3:15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.

I stayed home from church today, sick again.  My jaw is sore from getting a filling on Friday but there are some other things happening like a sore throat and swollen parts on my head.

So I turned on the TV during church time and watched Music and the Spoken Word in two parts but KBYU tv also shows a sacrament meeting.  It is like in double time because it is only half hour.  It was quite dated as well.  It was a rebroadcast from some time in the past at around Thanksgiving.  The talks were on gratitude.  Hence the scripture of the day.  We should always count our blessings.  I always think of how so many people in this world have so much less.  I remember when I was a single mom with the three kids.  According to statistics we were below poverty but we never were homeless or completely without food.  We had a car and clean clothes and clean house.  In comparison to the rest of the world we were living like kings and queens.  I always thought of that when I think about a need we might have. 

At one point we had two bedrooms, in one of them we had a queen size mattress on the floor with actual beds in another bedroom.  I had the bed on the floor for me.  I was totally ok with it.  The kids had their own beds.  They were regular ones off the floor.  The owner was going to replace all the carpet in the apartment so some men from church came by and emptied the apartment into the back.  Once the carpet was replaced they came back and put it all back.  A bit inconvenient but it all happened in one day so I felt no biggie.  Well, one of the men that helped reported to my bishop that I was sleeping on the floor on the mattress.  He called me in and made arrangements to get me a "real" bed.  He asked me why I was ok with it.  My response was I was so aware of how so many in the world had it so much worse.  I felt who was I to ask for more.  I had carpet not a dirt floor.  I had food in my cupboards, a stove to cook it on and a fridge to keep it in.  I felt like I had what I needed so it never occurred to me ask for help.

Jan. 6, 2017
Scripture: 

Psalms 27:14

• Old Testament

Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord. 

Sometimes it is the waiting that is the hardest part.  For me I need to do something while I wait.  But lately as I have been waiting for an answer or answers I have gotten too tired to start another project or do another thing while I wait.  It is not that I have lost faith; it is that I have lost strength.  So this scripture does me well.  I need my heart but moreso my body to have strength.  I also think there is a measure of patience in there somewhere.  I could use a little more that. 

I always say watch what you pray for because you might get called to the nursery where you definately will learn a little patience.  Our nursery is the children between 18 months and 3 years in age.  That is quite a span.  This week I had a little reminder of when I was called to be nursery leader.

I came across a student from Lumen that was in my nursery class years ago.  I made up a little rhyme to fit "Ring around Rosie"  That is such a morbid nursery rhyme although not many really know that.  But the nursery kids love the actions of the rhyme.  So I made up new words to go with the actions.
Instead of Ring around the rosie, pocketful of posies, ashes ashes. We all fall down.

Mine is: Ring around Jericho, priests do your trumpets blow, shout up shout up, walls fall down.  It is based on the taking of Jericho but the non conventional methods of warfare.  But waiting on the Lord to save them and doing exactly what they were asked proved to be fruitful.  So I am just reminding myself to continue on and someday my prayers will be answered.

Jan 5, 2017

Scriptures: The book of Job. Specifically:
 21 And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.

 22 In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly.

 

It is funny how one can read the same scripture as another and they get different meanings from them.  Meanings that are specific to them.  Back in 80's I wasn't too sure there was a God but in reading Job I came to the conclusion there was a God and I should get to know him.  Now I read those scriptures and I don't see it.  I don't see what caused such revelations.  I see something different.

 

These two scriptures tell me that I come to the earth with nothing including knowledge of our pre-existence.  That means we have to take what we learn about God in pure faith.  We do return with any knowledge we have but that is all we are naked in material items. 

 

Second: all that we have here on earth comes from God. He can take it at any time.  I pray he doesn't but I do know he can.  I also know that when I have a need and I have no way of fulfilling that need it arrives.  Yes, blessed by his name. 

 

I am not sure I saw those things in those scriptures long ago but I probably wasn't at a place I could receive such.  We get that as we need it as well.

Jan. 4, 2017

Jonah 2:7

• Old Testament

When my soul fainted within me I remembered the Lord: and my prayer came in unto thee, into thine holy temple. 

Tonight's post is a little bit of a confusion.  I have lived most of my life in anticipation of loss. It probably started at 4 when my parents divorced.  My dad moved to Alabama and my mom and I moved to Maryland.  Somewhere in there I lived with my dad for a short time while my mom found a place to live - Thurmont.  She hoped it was secluded enough to keep me safe.  The man she fell in love with had an ex-wife that would rather see him dead than divorced. So Mom thought this woman might kidnap me in revenge.  So she found someplace safe, or so she thought.  This man died when I was 8, on their wedding day.  I started feeling like my mom was going to go away as well so, I started preparing for it then.  My mom took the death very hard.  She had me stay with all kinds of relatives until school started so she could get herself together.  We still lived on those tinfoil dinners for months because cooking was more than she could handle.  She managed to make it to work each day.  I held my grief in - until I was about 19 or 20.  Then when I was 22 I lost her.  I was a new mother and felt like maybe we could start bonding because we had something in common. 

When I was 10 my mom met another man, Rayfield.  They married when I was 14.  6 months after their marriage Rayfield was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  He got on an experimental treatment and lived for another 9 years.  That was unheard of in those days.  But he actually died not of cancer, I think it might have been a broken heart even though the doctor said it was kidney failure.  You see he died one year exactly to the day from the last time he saw my mom,  the day they closed the casket.

I have two broken engagements and one failed marriage and they are losses too.  But tonight I am trying to remember the Lord because it is very snowy outside and very dangerous on the roads.  My husband is driving home in that weather and I sit here anticipating another loss.  What would I do? How would I handle this?  On and on my thoughts happen until I finish this and he walks in the back door and greets the dogs.

Because my soul fainted me I am trying to remember the Lord because if -- IF it happens it is the Lord that will get me though as he has all those things above.

My husband is home safe so I can rest at ease once again.  Good night.

Jan 3, 2017

Galatians 6:2

• New Testament

Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. 

I must admit I have not been very tolerant today but in amidst all the snow and shovelling.  I did see others doing just this.  I watched the street across from me get plowed and he also plowed out driveways.  He was not a city worker.  I saw people mention others helping them with their driveways and sidewalks.  I saw a person pull a school bus from being stuck.  I heard of others helping people who were stuck near them.

This is bearing one another's burdens.  It does a body and soul good to see others do that.  It also does a body and soul good to do it oneself.

As long as we are will to be the good Samaritan and bear each other's burdens there is hope for our world and society.

Jan. 2, 2017

Job 37:6

• Old Testament

For he saith to the snow, Be thou on the earth; likewise to the small rain, and to the great rain of his strength.

The he in this scripture refers to God.  Today was the last day of my holiday break.  I stayed inside most of the day because it snowed all day.  At around 6 we had 8 inches, there is more like 10 now and it is not supposed to quit tonight.  I worry about driving to work. I worry not because I don't know how to drive in the snow but because too many people here don't.  They seem to think that no matter what the weather they can drive at 70.  I saw on the news tonight 3 state police had their cars crashed into while they were helping someone.  Two of the 3 cars were totalled.  They said 70 MPH is for when the roads are at optimal conditions.  We got snow a little more than a week ago and it didn't get the opportunity to melt like it usually does here in Utah.  Put on top of that a powdery snow and it is very slick.  It is times like these I yearn for horse and buggy because they had fewer accidents at slower speeds, except I don't want to have to give up the heater. 

Jan. 1, 2017
23 And that which doth not edify is not of God, and is darkness.

 24 That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.

 25 And again, verily I say unto you, and I say it that you may know the truth, that you may chase darkness from among you; D&C:50:23-25

 

Lyrics

1. 1. Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,
   The flying cloud, the frosty light.
   The year is dying in the night;
   Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.
   The year is dying in the night;
   Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.
2. 2. Ring out the old; ring in the new.
   Ring, happy bells, across the snow.
   The year is going; let him go.
   Ring out the false; ring in the true.
   The year is going; let him go.
   Ring out the false; ring in the true.
3. 3. Ring in the valiant men and free,
   The larger heart, the kindlier hand.
   Ring out the darkness of the land;
   Ring in the Christ that is to be.
   Ring out the darkness of the land;
   Ring in the Christ that is to be.
4. Text: Alfred Tennyson, 1809-1892
   Music: Crawford Gates, b. 1921. (c) 1948 IRI

 

I thought that this hymn was perfect to ring in the new year.

My plan is to have a scripture of the day that applies to my day.  I plan to do this every day.  If you don't know me following might provide some insight to how I think.  Today was a simple message that I got from sacrament meeting today.  The scriptures will come from any of the books we (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) consider to be scripture.  Those would be the Old Testament, New Testament, Book of Mormon (another testament to Jesus Christ on the America continent), and Doctrine of Covenants. We use the King Jame version of the bible.  During the year I will go into the scriptures in more detail. I think that is enough for the day. 

 

I am struggling a bit with sight tonight as my eyes are a bit swollen.  I find the reference to light interesting.  During making dinner tonight I had homemade pizzas in the oven and was making Black eye pea soup started on the stove.  The onions I cut up for the soup were really affecting me and I thought that was all until the smoke detectors went off.  I was in the kitchen and apparently it was getting darker and darker due to smoke but I could not detect it. I guess it was like the frog in a pan of water kind of thing.  Our lives in the world are much like that.  The adversary won't make it evil and totally dark all at once he will do it a little at a time.  We get used to the darkness so then he adds more.  I never did notice the darkness of the smoke in my kitchen.  My husband who wasn't part of the kitchen could see it.  Sometimes we need to remove ourselves to be able to look in and see it.  Fortunately we always have a guide to go back to and I believe that is Jesus Christ.  If we use him as our guide we can always straighten our course back to the light. 

 

The incident in the kitchen left my eyes swollen and thus making it hard for me to see.  Sometimes our brushes with darkness leave some damage.  But for me a little rest and I will be able to recover.  It talks about that in the scriptures as well.  Look up scriptures that talk about being in his "rest". 

In any case that is all I have for tonight because I need to take some rest.  See you tomorrow.