Jan. 30, 2017

Scripture of the day:

Numbers 5:8

• Old Testament

But if the man have no kinsman to recompense the trespass unto, let the trespass be recompensed unto the Lord, even to the priest; beside the ram of the atonement, whereby an atonement shall be made for him. 

I must say I have been blessed to find scriptures that match perfectly to what I want to say the last couple of days.  Yesterday I was looking for a scripture on repentance and thought I would need to find a second one for forgiveness but I found one with both and tonight I found exactly what I was looking for on the atonement.

Last night I spoke of forgiving those who trespass against us.  But sometimes we are not able to forgive because we are in too much pain from the trespass.  I have two things to say about that.

First is a story of my husband.  He has had someone in his life who caused him great emotional distress.  He has been working on healing from this distress.  At one point he was extremely distraught because he knew the Lord expected him to forgive this person.  He really felt he could not bring himself to forgiveness.  In one of my rare moments of insight I was able to relay to him that while the Lord did expect him to forgive he didn't have to do it today.  That was enough to ease his despair.

My relationship with my husband is one where I am to support him especially as he heals from this trauma.  Just support,  I cannot teach him or share much insight.  The moment above was rare.  It must have been one that the Lord really needed to get through to him but he wasn't listening.  As I have watched my husband deal with the pain and trauma from nightmares to unresolved anger to utter despair it has been hard for me because I know that there is some relief from the pain.

I had an incident a number of years ago where someone close to me hurt me beyond the point I thought was possible.  I wound up on my knees from the sheer weight of the pain.  All I could utter in prayer was "Heavenly Father, this hurts".  I had no expectations, mainly because I had no knowledge.  For me that day was a day I learned about the atonement.  My pain was whisked away from me.  I sat on my knees in utter silence for a time because I was so shocked the pain just disappeared.  When I could speak all I could say was Thank you. 

Sometimes as we watch others it feels like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz.  The power for healing is always there but we don't always know it.  Like Dorothy and her red slippers her way home was always there but she had to have some experiences before she was ready and I think that sometimes the atonement is like that.  We are here on earth to learn and many times life's lessons are painful.  But ultimately it is our relationship with our Father in Heaven, our relationship.  No one else can speak to the Lord for us.  We must ask.  Others can pray for us but to receive the atonement we must ask for ourselves.  The Lord is there to give us strength when we no longer can go on. He is there to give us courage to stand up for ourselves when we must act.  He gives us relief, peace and comfort from our trials.  He can't take away the trial because we must learn but he is willing to walk through with us.  

So if the reason you are having trouble forgiving is pain or lack of strength or courage the Lord is ready, willing and most certainly able if all we do is but ask.   I know this is true because I have seen it, felt it and lived it.